


Tragic Nightmares

by honestlydarkprincess



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky takes care of Steve, Character Death, Heavy Angst, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Major Character Injury, Nightmare Aftercare, Nightmares, Protective Bucky Barnes, Then, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Until He Can't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 01:50:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8602483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honestlydarkprincess/pseuds/honestlydarkprincess
Summary: When Steve wakes up from brutal nightmares, Bucky is there to comfort him. Until he isn't.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy everyone! 
> 
> I saw this prompt that inspired me to write a fic where Steve had nightmares and Bucky comforted him...and then this happened. Originally it was supposed to have a happy ending but I lost my soul too many years ago so this is what happened instead xD 
> 
> I hope you guys like it! 
> 
> **Warning:** MAJOR Character Death. Not a Happy Ending. Read at your own discretion. 
> 
> This fic is unBeta'd so all mistakes are my own. If you see something I missed, please let me know and I'll fix it right away! 
> 
> Enjoy!

_"Bucky!"_

Steve bit down on his knuckles to muffle the scream building in his throat. His body heaved with sobs as he recalled his nightmare. He tried to slow his racing heart and fast breathing but it was hard. The dream had just felt so _real_.

Steve was no stranger to nightmares. He’d had them for years, and they had only gotten worse after the war and everything that had gone down in New York with Loki and in D.C. with Bucky. This specific nightmare— the one of Bucky dying— had plagued him since they were teens. Each one was different but they all ended the same— with Bucky’s cold, dead body hanging limply in his arms. 

The worst ones were when he could _almost_ save Bucky. If only he’d gotten there a few seconds earlier or had seen the guy sneaking up behind Bucky— whatever the situation, Steve was always a few seconds too late. Those were the worst ones because there was this sense of helplessness and failure that stuck around for hours after he’d woken up. 

Steve was shaken from his thoughts by a soft knock on his door. 

"Stevie?" 

Steve felt the tension in his body relax immediately after hearing that low, rough voice. 

"Come in, Buck," Steve croaked. His voice was quiet but he knew Bucky would be able to hear him. Not to mention the fact that Bucky would have come in anyway even if he hadn’t said anything. 

The door opened and Steve watched Bucky’s frame come into focus. The only light in the room was the moonlight that filtered in through the window, but Steve could still see Bucky’s face, and the concern covering it, clearly. 

"Another nightmare?" Bucky asked, padding over to the bed after closing the door behind him. 

"Yeah," Steve whispered, looking down at the comforter in shame. He knew that Bucky would never judge him for having nightmares; he never had. Besides, the man had plenty of nightmares himself. Who wouldn’t, after what he’d been through? 

Bucky studied him for a moment and Steve thought he was going to say something but Bucky just continued his way to the bed, came around the side, and slid in. Steve stared at him while Bucky made himself comfortable. 

Once Bucky was satisfied, he looked towards Steve and opened his arms. Steve only hesitated for a second before lying down beside him and laying his head on his chest. Bucky curled around him protectively and Steve felt the lingering bit of tension melt away. 

Steve could tell Bucky was curious about what his nightmare had been about, this time. He’d known that Steve had had nightmares since they were kids but Steve had always managed to avoid telling him what they were about. He promised himself that he’d finally tell Bucky…in the morning, though. He could feel himself being lulled to sleep by the strong, steady sound of Bucky’s heartbeat. 

Steve fell asleep pretty quickly considering the state he’d been in just a few minutes ago; but Bucky stayed awake. He couldn’t sleep knowing that sleep hurt Steve so much. He wanted to protect him from everything— including his subconscious, if need be. 

Bucky kept a vigilant watch over Steve as the man slept— anytime it looked like a nightmare was starting, Bucky would softly sing a Russian lullaby, and Steve would immediately quiet down and nuzzle closer.

 

oOoOoOoOo

 

When Steve woke up, he couldn’t feel Bucky next to him and he shot up, panicking. 

What if the dream had been real?

He looked around wildly, looking for any sign that Bucky had been there the night before and everything that _had_ been real. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw the light to the bathroom on, and the sound of the shower running finally registered. He flopped back against the pillows and closed his eyes, trying to slow his rapid heartbeat. 

When he opened his eyes again, Bucky was hovering over him, gently shaking his shoulder. 

"Good mornin’, sleepin’ beauty," Bucky chuckled, straightening up. 

"Shut up," Steve groaned, ignoring Bucky’s laugh. He was really comfortable and didn’t want to get up. 

"Come on, I made pancakes!" Bucky tempted. He knew just how much Steve loved pancakes. It was the only sure-fire way to get Steve out of bed; had been since they were kids. 

"Ugh, fine," Steve grumbled, forcing himself out of bed. He made his way past Bucky to the shower, throwing an amused glance over his shoulder when the other man slapped his ass as he passed. 

 

oOoOoOoOo

 

That night, Steve awoke, screaming, once again. 

When he became aware of his surroundings, Bucky was on top of him, holding his arms down, chest heaving. Steve noticed the tears in Bucky’s eyes and could feel the tears on his own face. He took a couple deep breaths and relaxed his arms. Bucky watched him cautiously, before letting his grip on Steve’s wrists go lax. 

"W-What happened?" Steve gasped out, still trying to regain his breaths. 

"You had another nightmare, Stevie," Bucky whispered, carding his fingers through Steve’s sweaty hair. "It was a bad one." 

"Shit," Steve said, swallowing hard. 

He didn’t understand it. Bucky was _here_. All those years of him being gone and while Steve had had nightmares, they’d never been this bad; so why were they so bad now? It felt...it felt almost like they were trying to tell him something; _prepare_ him for something. 

Bucky didn’t say anything. He just climbed off Steve and got up. Steve’s breath sped up again as he watched Bucky walk towards the door. 

"Where are you going?" Steve whimpered. He felt pathetic but right now, all he wanted, all he _needed_ , was to be near Bucky. 

"Shhh, relax, darlin’" Bucky whispered quickly, "I’m just turnin’ off the light."

When the lights were off and Bucky had stripped down to his boxers, he climbed into bed next to Steve, just like he had done the night before. 

And, just like last night, Steve leant his head against Bucky’s chest and fell asleep to the steady sound of his strong heartbeat. 

 

oOoOoOoOo 

 

The next time Steve woke up from a nightmare, it was so bad he threw up. 

Steve had barely enough time to wrench himself from the bed and into the bathroom, falling to his knees in front of the toilet. His hair was matted with sweat and tears were still wet on his cheeks. 

He started when he felt a gentle hand on his back. He looked up to see Bucky’s concerned face looking down at him. 

"Fuck, Stevie," Bucky whispered, grabbing a washcloth and, after pouring some cold water on it, gently wiped down Steve’s face. 

Silently, Steve let him. He didn’t protest when Bucky helped him up and had him brush his teeth, his body was on autopilot at this point. 

All he could think about was the nightmare. 

He didn’t want to close his eyes again. He didn’t want to see Bucky’s mutilated, broken body again. This time, they’d been in a brutal fight with masked agents and Steve had had just enough time to watch the light go out of Bucky’s eyes before everything around him had exploded— and then he’d woken up.

He couldn’t stop seeing Bucky’s eyes right before he’d died. The once lively, bright blue had become a dull, pain-filled grey. 

That saying about seeing the light go out of someone’s eyes…well, Steve had never seen such a devastating example. 

Steve hadn’t even realized he’d started crying again until he felt Bucky’s lips softly kiss his forehead as he gently wiped away the tears from his cheeks with his thumbs. 

"Shhh, baby, I’m right here."

With that, whatever Steve had been holding back, broke and he collapsed into Bucky’s arms, sobbing. Bucky just wrapped his arms around Steve tightly and mumbled reassurances in his ear. 

"I got you, baby, it’s okay," Bucky whispered, kissing his temple. Steve shuddered and burrowed in closer to Bucky’s chest. 

Steve didn’t know how long they stayed like that but after a while, his legs started to feel heavy and couldn’t imagine Bucky was comfortable standing like this. 

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Bucky took this as a sign that he was ready to move and slowly started to untangle himself from the mess of limbs that was the two of them. 

"Please don’t leave," Steve whispered, eyes to the floor. He’d just spent however long sobbing on his bed friend’s shoulder, and _this_ is what embarrassed him, asking for Bucky to stay. 

"I ain’t going nowhere, doll," Bucky reassured, cupping Steve’s cheek. He held his eyes for a moment to make sure Steve understood what he was really saying, even if he wasn’t saying the words. 

After a moment, Steve nodded and Bucky relaxed. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Steve’s in a light kiss that still somehow carried so much passion and emotion in it. Steve sighed into the kiss, body relaxing as the feelings of love and safety covered him like a warm blanket. When the kiss ended, Steve kept his eyes closed. This time, he didn’t see Bucky’s dead, empty eyes staring back at him, he saw the warm blue eyes that gazed at him with love and affection. 

"Come on," Bucky whispered, kissing Steve one more time before taking his hand and leading him out of the bathroom. He helped Steve change into new pyjamas, his previous ones soaked with sweat. Then he grabbed a pair of pyjamas he’d stashed in Steve’s room after the first couple of nightmares. 

When they were both ready, Bucky got into bed and Steve followed him. It didn’t take them long to find Steve’s favourite position— with Bucky on his back and Steve curled into his side, head on his chest listening to his heartbeat. 

 

oOoOoOoOo

 

This time, however, when Steve opened his eyes, everything was different. 

The first thing he noticed was how fucking bright everything was. He squinted against the light, waiting for his eyes to adjust. The second thing he noticed was how much his body hurt. It felt like he’d been run over by a bus. 

Or, you know, fallen off a train. 

He tried to speak, but someone shushed him. 

"Don’t speak…you had a tube down your throat, so it’s going to hurt for a little while," Natasha spoke, softly.

Steve’s eyes finally adjusted to the light and he was able to make out the whole team, sitting or standing around his bedside. Everyone looked exhausted and like they’d just come from battle. 

"Bucky…" Steve whispered, ignoring what Natasha had said. However, she was right; it did hurt to talk but Steve _had_ to know where Bucky was. 

"Steve…" Tony started, trailing off before he said anything else. Everyone in the room looked hesitant. Immediately, Steve knew that he wasn’t going to like whatever they had to say. 

"What’s going on?" Steve asked, panic seeping into his veins the longer the team stayed silent, "Guys, where is Bucky?"

Sam cleared his throat and started to speak when it looked like no one else was going to, 

"First, do you remember anything?" Sam asked. When Steve shook his head no, Sam took a deep breath, "Okay, well…you and Bucky got into a fight with rouge Hydra agents and it didn’t end well..." 

Sam explained how five Hydra agents had snuck up on the two men while they were on their morning run. Since they didn’t have any weapons on them, except for the two knives that Bucky carried with him at all times, it wasn’t a fair fight in the slightest. 

"….and then one of the agents decided it was a good idea to set off a bunch of explosives and that’s why you ended up here," Sam finished, looking down and avoiding Steve’s gaze. 

Steve looked around the room and took in how none of the others would meet his gaze either; he knew there was something they weren’t telling him. 

"Okay, well, that explains a lot. Can I see Bucky now?" Steve asked once more. His stomach dropped when the team collectively stiffened and a heavy silence fell across the room. 

"Guys…," Steve began, pausing when the silence continued. "Someone answer me, _now._

"Steve," Natasha started, taking a deep breath before continuing, "Bucky…he didn’t…well, he didn’t make it." 

If Steve had thought the silence was heavy before, it was nothing compared to this. 

"What do you mean he didn’t make it?" Steve questioned, voice breaking and heart pounding. A cold sweat broke out across his body and his breathing quickened. 

"Bucky’s dead, Cap," Tony whispered, not beating around the bush. Which, honestly, Steve appreciated. Tony looked completely serious and that was something Steve had never seen in all the time he’d known the genius. 

Steve froze, letting those words wash over him.

Bucky was _dead_. 

"No, no, no," Steve gasped, "You’re lying!" 

"Steve…" Sam started, but Steve didn’t hear him. 

He let out a gut-wrenching sound that had the whole team cringing from the raw pain Steve was emitting. 

Steve shut his eyes, ignoring the tears dripping down his cheeks, and tried to wake up. 

This was all a dream, right? Just another nightmare. Any second now he’d wake up with Bucky’s arms wrapped tightly around him and everything would be okay. 

But when Steve opened his eyes, all he saw was the heartbroken looks of his teammates. He let out a sob and squeezed his eyes shut again. 

This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t real. 

Steve forced his eyes open and screamed when he saw his teammates again.

No, no, no. 

No. 

The team watched with tears in their own eyes as their Captain broke down in front of them. No one knew what to say. Nothing anyone said would ever make this okay and they knew that. 

All the nightmares in Steve's life combined couldn’t compare to this one. Bucky not being there…that was a nightmare that Steve would never recover from. He had barely been able to function without Bucky after the man had fallen off the train but now, this time around, it was so much worse. This time, he knew what if felt like to fall asleep next to Bucky, to kiss him, to be so close to him he didn’t know where he ended and Bucky started. Having that ripped away from him so violently, for the second time, was too much. 

Steve’s sobs eventually slowed to small whimpers, although they were no less heartbreaking. 

He closed his eyes and, this time, he knew that he’d never open them again.

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope you liked it! Lemme know what you thought! I really love it when you guys leave comments xD 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
